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The results are in ... it's time to put away the polish, people

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I'm Scott, the editor of marketingmag.com.au. If you want to contact me about anything, site-related or not, please send me an email, or alternatively start following me and marketingmag on Twitter or Plurk. Look forward to hearing from you soon.

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"The realms of advertising and of public relations ... are replete with instances of bullshit so unmitigated that they can serve among the most indisputable and classic paradigms of the concept. And in these realms there are exquisitely sophisticated craftsmen who ... dedicate themselves tirelessly to getting every word and image they produce exactly right." On Bullshit. Harry Frankfurt, Princeton University


Well, the results are in and it seems that advertisers actually can't do anything (Ed. Perhaps someone should tell Microsoft and Alex Bogusky!)

A resounding 71% of you agreed that no amount of elbow grease can make a terrible product shine.

But let's not forget the 29% of you who genuinely believe that advertisers really can polish up the proverbial and execute some kind of Fairy Godmother play with a swoosh of their advertising wand.

So I'd like to propose something to the Australian marketing community: let's set up the unofficial Golden Turd Awards right here in sunny Australia, a country well known for its irreverent sense of humour and ability to have a laugh at itself.

The Golden Turd Awards

The process will work like this:

  1. you will suggest campaigns where advertisers have executed incredible TPS (Turd Polishing Skills - well it wouldn't be marketing if it didn't have a three-letter acronym, now would it!). Deadline for suggestions of the most outstanding achievement in the art of turd polishing will be December 1st 2008. The top suggestion with the most creative and entertaining justification will win some fantastic prize I have yet to think of. It will be fantastic though!
  2. we will then select a prestigious panel of excrement beautification specialists who will decide on a shortlist of the most deserving work. The shortlist will be announced on December 15.
  3. the final award winners will be announced after a break for Christmas on January 27. On this fine day in 1910, the venerable Thomas Crapper passed away. It seems only fitting then that we celebrate on the anniversary of the passing of this toilet pioneer. We will then present the award in person to the winning agency.

So without further ado, I hand the baton for this one over to you. Please discuss campaigns that you think deserve to be nominated in the comments section below, and send in your nominations for campaigns that have demonstrated exceptional TPS to Scott.

May the best steaming heap of dung win!

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2 Comments

  • Wrote on 28 Aug, at 12:49PM
‘Can’t do anything’

Wow way to throw the baby out with the water!

I will be a part of that 29% thanks, I hate to tell you this but Advertising is part of the product.

‘No amount of elbow grease can make a terrible product shine.’

Products/Brands act as short cuts.

Advertising helps create these short cuts.

If I am rocking my new Tsubi Jeans, apart of the intrinsic value is the fact that they will be communicating to my community that they are a valuable commodity and make me look ‘cool’. I want to know that they are still communicating this image, by being apart of media that my community consumes (Vice Magazine and Street Press).

If people bought products solely on being the best product in the market, do you think that people would buy jeans that pack their nads into their stomach? or would your father rock a Ralph Lauren Polo when he can buy the same quality polo for $14.95 from KMART?

I have got nothing wrong with advertising as long as they know their place in the whole conspicuous consumption experience. Advertising is great, but you are only one part of the communication of intrinsic value. Catching my father friends wearing Ksubi jeans is a stronger communicator of devaluing intrinsic value than other forms of media increasing or decreasing it.

What I do have a beef with is; Marketers, Media Agencies and Advertising Agencies allocations of Marketing(Communications) budgets, you are wasting your money on media that your community do not consume. (Hint: The kids are not just watching TV anymore, they are online watching videos on Youtube, consuming social gossip about their friends on Facebook). Maybe we should look at the Worst Advertising Agency killing a brands intrinsic value and here is one for the Media Agencies Worst Allocation of Media Dollars.
  • Wrote on 28 Aug, at 06:26PM
Are we limited to the number of entrants we can nominate?

If it wasnt for the venerable Thomas Crapper, Id have no place to read my marketing books and the latest Marketing Magazine.

Julian, I buy my Ksubi jeans at Target.

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